
Today we step away from our regular “Blog” topics and pay homage to all of the great men and women, who have given their lives, so we may live ours freely! From all of us at a A Vintage Address, our humblest “Thank You”! Marylee Jacobs
Several years ago, when my kids were in their early teens, the church we attended did something I thought was extraordinary and very moving, for their Memorial Day service. Of course, the message was geared towards the topic of our military, their dedication to, and sacrifices for, our country. There were moving stories of various historical events, how they impacted the country, and an accounting of the lives lost to achieve those victories. I felt like I was sitting in my college history class, only it was being taught by the pastor of my church. In my mind, I could see, the battlegrounds, the decks of ships, the planes in the air, the thousands of young men and women in their uniforms, some with mud on their boots and faces, rifles in their hands, some behind huge guns mounted on ships, some getting in to their cockpits, ready to take to the air. In my vision, the soldiers were tucked into fox holes and bunkers, running across ship decks to launch planes, reloading torpedo tubes, and they were all running towards the battle. I can only guess, I was envisioning some conglomeration of, blurry vignettes, and mis-matched scenes of war movies I had seen, at different points in my life.
It all seemed so familiar, it was easy to invoke visions of the men and women in uniform fighting wars, and yet somehow it still felt so unreal. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn’t a discussion about a war movie, played by famous actors, who would get up and move on to the next scene. These soldiers were real men and women, they were sons, daughters, sisters, fathers, mothers, uncles, aunts, cousins, boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés, husbands, wives…these men and women were a very real part, in the lives of many. All those who were left behind and who felt the deepest loss when their soldier made the ultimate sacrifice, will never forget their loved ones. Their bravery drove them, into the face of unknown dangers, facing unseen enemies, yet they ran towards their fates, to do their part in fighting for the freedom we all share today.
At the end of the sermon, we were given the opportunity to walk down to the alter to retrieve a small American flag. There were several vases containing bouquets of these little flags, which up until now, I had believed to be simply decorative for the occasion. The pastor invited all who wished to participate, to come to the alter and choose a flag, after which, we could carry the flags to the grassy area that had been roped off near the main road, and plant the flags in neat rows, to create a substantial collective memorial for everyone who drove by, to see. He went on to explain, that each little flag, and there were literally thousands of them, represented a life that had been lost, and that these represented only a few of the most recent military involvements in Iraq, Iran, and Pakistan. If that wasn’t impactful enough, the pastor went on to say that each flag has been personalized with the name, rank, military branch and age of the deceased, that the flag was meant to honor. As my daughters and I made our way to the alter to retrieve our flags, we were feeling the heaviness in the room, a somber sense of respect and the deep losses those flags stood for. We waited our turn and picked our flags. As we were making our way out of the auditorium, we each read the inscription on the flags we had chosen. By the time we had reached the exit door, we were all weeping. My flag was dedicated to an 18-year-old boy, and reading his name hurt me as deeply, as if it were my own son. As we walked, I looked over at my daughters, who were also weeping as they read the dedication of the person their flags represented. We said no words, we just kept walking toward the field where hundreds of these little flags were already being blown by the breeze. We stuck our flags into the ground, alongside the other ones already planted in neat rows. It was quite a sight, and I was overwhelmed. We hear about the wars, the loss of lives, but due to the desensitizing nature, of how we are bombarded with news twenty-four hours a day, the details are often mentally dismissed as if it were a movie we saw. However, that day, in that place, those flags were real people. They weren’t just names of the latest victims of war, rolling by on a crawler, at the bottom of the TV screen.
My very best friend is from a military family and they have a wonderful tradition of laying wreaths on the soldiers graves, at their local military cemetery. Most military families place a wreath on their front doors to commemorate their loved ones and to show their respect for all who serve or have served our country. People from all over travel to Arlington National Cemetery to pay their respects, and not just on Memorial Day, or Veterans Day, though those days see a lot of visitors for certain. Some leave behind little flags, red, white and blue ribbons, balloons, flowers, wreaths, and sometimes you will see a few unexpected items that you know were left by family members, that have a special meaning and relevance to that specific person buried there. I have yet to meet a military family that doesn’t have pictures of their loved ones in uniform, framed and proudly displayed in a prominent area of their homes, whether they are currently living and in service or have served and passed on. I love to see those displays, it makes me empathetic for the pride they feel for their loved ones. I never miss an opportunity to ask questions about the ones pictured. I have learned that whether they are current or past members of the military, whether they served and retired, or were lost in their service, their families are always happy to talk about them, even if there is a tear in their eye, just to have them remembered, to have someone interested in hearing their stories, is an invaluable gift.
There are many ways we can show tribute to our military personnel, whether they are living or deceased. Of course, there are the obvious national holidays, most of which are treated as long weekends. Even in a celebratory mood, we can toast a drink, tell their stories, and remember those we’ve lost. We can encourage those still in service, by finding ways to thank them for their dedication to our country, and acknowledging the sacrifices they make to keep us all safe. When possible, pay it forward by picking up the bill when you see our servicemen and women having a meal. Whether you do it anonymously or along with a personal handshake and face to face thanks, they will certainly appreciate the effort and the thought. Standing in line, at the supermarket, bank, or even at a theme park, a handshake, or just a nod and a “thank you for your service”, could make their day a little brighter. If you don’t have a tradition to show honor to our military, there is no time like the present to start something new. It could mean that generations from now, the traditions you start this Memorial Day, could live on and teach our children, grandchildren and their children, that it is worth the effort, and very rewarding to all, to honor our country, and those who dedicate their lives, serving to keep us safe, and our country free.